To Be Grateful...

I am SO grateful for my family. I am also so grateful for our health and to be able to be together with no one trying to interfere. And for anyone who does not have that joy, I feel a deep pain and sorrow.

A friend of mine lost her husband to cancer today. He has been fighting it for awhile, but unfortunately...it spread and there was nothing that could be done. He was only 21 years old, and it makes me SO sad that he will not be able to watch his little boy, Zane, grow up and become a man.

And it also makes me wonder how poor Jessica could be so strong when the outcome was inevitable. I know it was hard, and I know that no one knows their real strength until it is put to the test. But to know that you are going to lose someone, no matter what you do...I just cannot even begin to fathom that. And I pray that I will never have to endure that. And guiltily, I feel relieved and thankful that my husband and kids are fine and beautiful and healthy.

On another note, I do want to talk about amazing my husband can be. Last week I was feeling exhausted, run down, and weary...physically, mentally, emotionally...and he saw this. And he asked me what was wrong. I told him that nothing was wrong, and he told me to quit lying to him. Now Seth doesn't do emotional very well, and he'll tell you that. So what I said to him was this, "I don't talk to you about these things b/c I know you don't like to deal with them. But I feel like I'm down on my knees right now and I can't get up. Everything is piling up and I just don't know how to get through it. I just want to run away b/c I don't feel like I have the strength to deal with it all." And he says to me, "This is what marriage is about. I'm your other half, and I'm here to carry you when you can't do it alone. But if you don't let me, I can't be there for you." And things have been blissful ever since. I love him for who he is and what he does for me and how he loves me (even when I don't feel like I can be loved). And I'm thankful for him every day. Plus he gave me the 2 best kids ever...and that's an even better reason :)