Tuesday, November 20, 2007


So my dad had surgery last Thursday, Nov. 15th. They put him in the hospital on the 13th b/c he needed a blood transfusion, and that delayed the whole process a little bit. The surgery took longer than they thought b/c of scar tissue from his other heart surgeries, but he made it. He has hit some bumps along the way and we've almost lost him a few times, but God is watching out for him and brought him through. I still can't get rid of this feeling, though, so I've been making sure that I'm up there everyday to be with him and help out any way that I can. They finally moved him out of ICU last night, so hopefully he will be home by Thanksgiving.

I just still feel so helpless. I wish there was more I could do and it frustrates me that I can't. I've really just shut myself off from people, and I continue to wonder why I do that. I mean, how hard would it be for me to call one of my awesome friends and tell them that I'm struggling and I'm stressed? It doesn't sound like it would be very hard, but it is. And then that brings me to wonder why I'm such a private person. I mean, I want to share things with people but I just don't. I don't want to draw attention to myself or the things going on. I guess I just want to be seen as strong and independent. But in the grand scheme of things, I'm just not; I'm too afraid to open up.

Anyway, enough of that. I'm EXTREMELY thankful that my dad made it through and is beginning to recover. He still has a long road ahead, but so far, so good. Thank you to everyone out there for praying and sending thoughts his way. I truly believe that it made all the difference in the work and it proves that the power of prayer is real. I'll try to keep the updates coming and try to keep them more positive ;)

Thursday, November 1, 2007


So life has been incredibly busy lately. Some things positive, some things not so much. However, what I CAN say is that we had a great Halloween. The kids looked great, they had an awesome time trick or treating, and we had a good time hanging out with family. Who could ask for more than that?

As for the rest of my life, there are so many things going on. I got offered a job promotion. I am now Special Events Coordinator and Assistant Gym Manager. I'm excited about these things. There won't be many extra hours unless we have something special going on, but it should be fun to plan things and watch things happen under my supervision. And the raise can't hurt too much either, right? Anyway, hopefully it all goes the way I expect.

As for my dad, I'm still frustrated. We're about 2 weeks away from surgery. I'm so upset by the actions of his cardiologist right now. He won't be performing the surgery (thank God!), but insists on seeing my dad weekly until the surgery. Now this is the same man who said there were no leaky valves and that my dad's breathing a few months ago was no concern. After seeing a specialist, his breathing WAS an issue and wouldn't have lived if they had not admitted him to the hospital and gotten the fluid off of his lungs and heart. And he has not one, but TWO leaky valves. They are doing surgery to repair his tricuspid valve and replacing his mitral valve. Anyway, today he had an appointment with my non-favorite doctor who displayed (at least in my opinion) very unprofessional behavior. Let me just say that I'm scared and this is MY father, so I expect answers to my questions in a professional manner. He originally said there was no cause for concern in waiting on the surgery, as we have been for the past month or so. But today he says he has to see him every 5-7 days to make sure that he doesn't have a heart attack before they get him in. WTH is that?! Then when asked what exactly the procedure is for him, he makes a big joke about it. We have not had anyone explain what exactly they are doing, and after all my research on the Internet about it, there are several options. Would it be so hard to just tell us??? I understand that doctors use humor to lighten the situation, and that's completely fine with me. But after that, explain to me what I want to know. He did not even give us that courtesy. And unfortunately, I was not there. If I had been, I guarantee a completely different outcome. I have so many questions with no one with the decency to answer them. I'm mad, frustrated, scared, upset....and the doctors should care! If no one else out there does, they should! They give us these terrible odds of him even making it out of the surgery, and then it's a joke. I just don't understand it. *sigh*