Thoughts of my Granny...

So as most of you know, I am very lucky to live in the house that belonged to my Granny before she died. I have SO many memories in this place from childhood, and it makes me happy that my kids are growing up here. Sure, it's an old house and I complain about it sometimes, but in all reality I know how lucky I am to be here. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I'll wake up and the house will smell exactly the way that it did when I was a kid. I'll hear a train whistle blowing, or hear the owl hooting right outside the window. And then I can picture the house the way that it was when she was alive. I love it when that happens.

My Granny was a very spunky lady, and she died when she was 85 years old. You never would have known she was that old by looking at her, though. And she definitely didn't act her age either. She was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2000, and died soon after that. The last time I saw her was on my 19th birthday. Just a week before that, they said she wouldn't make it. She was unresponsive and her organs had started to shut down. But she pulled out of it. And I walked into her hospital room on my birthday, and there she was sitting up in bed. She was so with it, that she knew what day it was before I could even tell her. We talked for awhile and then I left. The doctors said she would be fine and released soon. I was busy with work and other things after that, so I just planned on seeing her when she got out of the hospital. She died 1 week later on June 16th, and I never got to say goodbye. It was my fault, I should have made more time. But hindsight is 20/20, right?

How ironic is it that 2 years later Brooklyn's due date was June 16th? However, she decided to come 2 days early, but still....ironic nonetheless. Here is something I wrote for my Granny that I read at her funeral:

Memories of you float back to me

Reminding me of my childhood

What I once was

Where I have come from

And what I am becoming because of you.

I remember the breakfast you used to make just for me

The vanilla wafers that we always shared

The card games you taught me when I was young

The kiss on my cheek you gave me before I left you each time.

I remember the way you used to let me sit on your lap

The television shows we used to watch

The way we would talk in bed at night before I fell asleep

All the times you were there for me.

I remember when you would pick me up from school before I could drive

The way you would always have a turkey sandwich waiting for me

The smell of your pillows when I'd wake up in the middle of the night

The smile you'd always give me when you were proud of me.

I remember how you never gave up on anyone or anything

The love and dedication you always put forth

The time you spent with those in need

The sacrifices you made.

I remember the strength in you that I always admired

The loyalty you had for your family and friends

The way you were there for every milestone in my life

The faith you had in your family and in God.

I know you will never truly be gone

But remembered always for the great woman that you were

The friend that never stopped giving

The grandmother that never stopped caring.

You are an angel from Heaven

Watching us, protecting us

Giving me the strength to say goodbye

Allowing me to tell you that my heart will never forget

But will always remember you

And blessing me with your presence.

I love you, Granny.