Friday, March 14, 2008

Recent Thoughts & Fears

Sometimes the emotions just build. Like a wall, they stretch until they graze the blue sky. Fingertips gently skimming the wind, yet blocking it so that I can no longer feel the wind anymore. I close my eyes; I take a deep breath. The real question is, “Am I ready to open my eyes?”

Sometimes I think that I am. I feel as strong as the ocean. My waves are never ending, and that gives me power. When I open my eyes, I can just take it all in and be ok with it. The world does not seem so cold or so overwhelming. I can accept who I am and what life has made me to be. And it is not so bad.

Sometimes I know that I am not. I would rather just float in the darkness, oblivious to all that is me. I can pretend that things are different, and my life is not a shadow. That the dreams came true, and those are my reality. That I am still the person I once envisioned; the person who has pride and integrity. The person that I always thought I would be.

I remain in the shadows of that wall. Until I feel a hand gently take hold of mine. Intertwining our fingers, a little smile plays on my lips. You pull me against you, allowing me to feel your warmth and the security that I always have when I am with you. I lean my face upon your chest, and all the fears of who I am lift and fly away. I open my eyes and know that I am ok. With you by my side, the wind returns and flutters against my cheek. You make me who I want to be.

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

Your so talented.